JamesOzAmbitions of A Willing Teenager

As I sit here at 3:01am writing whilst this blog whilst I should be asleep, not much really makes me ponder. It’s late and I’ve been playing catch up on my own life. People take advantage of the inner caring side of me to much, I’ve had a friend pretty much live with me because of whatever problems he was going through and I sadly had to lie to keep my own sanity and get rid of him. I’m a pretty easy going person and have things I have to do daily. I’m like a normal person who enjoys their own company/quiet time except I usually enjoy most of my time alone because it allows me free will and a fresh mind.

I can think a lot of things out more logically now, I can see sense of what people say and can call bullshit from a mile away. I can see that everyones judgemental but the people who’re labeled as judgemental are the people who freely talk their mind and give their opinion. Does freely talking my mind make me a judgemental person in this day and age? I know when to keep my mouth shut and I know when to express my views. Some Parents believe at 16 a teenager can’t be reasoned with or debated with because at that age they believe we know everything. I’ve had this called on me afew times. How can I possibly know everything when I know when to stand down or can admit defeat.

I think people overlook our generation because we’re seen as people who’ve barely lived life and never truly had to support ourselves. I’ve done it to teenagers that are 13/14 and the choices they make when they throw the word ‘love’ around. I claimed I knew what it meant and thought they were all dickheads. Nobody truly knows what it means, we can only put our own view in it and some of our experiences from it. Some people may think its a bitch and some think their whole life is based on it because something wonderful has happened from it.

We as a whole need to stop overlooking each other and even if we don’t agree with the views of others or think they’re inexperienced we only live once and everyone deserves a fair go. People shouldn’t make the same mistakes that others have and some people may just need some guidance on where to go in life or maybe they just want an extra opinion on it. We need to open our hearts and help out others because even if your life isn’t perfect, you can take pride in knowing you’ve helped someone along the way and that can only truly create good karma for you.

They call me easy going for one reason… I don’t give a shit about anything going on around me… So many people approach me with their problems and all it does is piss me off. I like helping my best friend but that’s as far as I’ll go in giving people advice. People are users and in their time of need they’ll come to me for advice… I’ve got my own problems to deal with and people just use and abuse friendships. Anyway, I didn’t begin writing my blog for this and I don’t want to ruin what I had to say.

I’m a pretty free soul, all of my problems aside, I’ve not got a care in the world and want to just get out of school and roam. I’m looking at getting to USA in 2010 and hopefully finding something thats right for me. I’m sick of the same old routine and the same old people who’ve got no clue about anything in life, I know stuff all but atleast have some logic and actually have a true personality that doesn’t consist of being your stereotypical braindead teenager. Got a sick job for music or whoring your brand/business that I can do or some capital? hit me up!

I planned to write this tonight but a lot early and got side tracked with some business. Life is slowly coming along and now and then I get the desire to give in and find something else, I’m sick of school and just going through the same process, knowing I’ll be doing the same stuff for 2 years can really bring you down..
I’ve got good news and got something I need to really work on, actually 2 things I need to work on. It looks like I may actually be in a band, we haven’t worked out much of the details or really had much time to do anything but we had a jam and we’re all pretty confident if we get together and talk about it all that we can actually create something positive from this. This actually gives me a reason to smile and have some hope, being able to express myself and begin the start of my dreams… One thing I generally need to work on is my writing, I sometimes can be a great writer but my problem is laziness in not re-reading or trying to improve my writing. This is actually a fairly big let down but since my last few written blogs have been done from my phone, its a lot harder to try keep everything decent… I also need to improve my motivation, I get nothing done and let the little amount of homework I get pile up or get lazy in class which ends up fucking up my tests/exams… I can’t remember shit and I don’t study anyway.. so its my fault.
things will change if I want them to, if not, I’ll be stuck the way I am. Unmotivated and lost in a world where I don’t know where I truly belong.

also, anyone with some topics for me to write about, message me and I’ll do some research and write a post about it, it will help me keep this place alive with some decent content..

How can I write about something I’ve already experienced countless times?

I’ve got no motivation to write and I keep going down the same dead fucking track and it’s killing me slowly, I hate what I’m doing but if i stop it, I’ll become even more depressed and will end up just another failure doing some shitty dead end job. The same thoughts fly through my mind and the same answers keep floating in my head but I know they’re wrong and will only cause pain to people around me… If they even care anymore, I’ve seriously just seem to be thorwing friendships away lately because I feel some people bring nothing to the table and that they’re just using me. I know it’s true but what can you honestly do, let it go on and know you have nobody to rely on?

The greatest people in this world are the ones who get fucked over and left behind in this cruel world, they’re the ones who deserve to be truly happen and experience a rich fulfilling life. I don’t deserve shit of it but I atleast deserve some respect to be treated like a human by people that I’ve trusted or seen as friends. I look after the past year and I can honestly say I can see 2-3 people who’ve truly stuck by me and actually made be still feel something about this world. The sad thing is, they’re nearly all people I’ve met from business related things or from NamePros.

Give me a sign something is going to change, a hope that happiness is near… It’s killing me inside.

I haven’t had a great sleep in awhile, my life is a day to day repeat of the week before and it’s getting boring, VERY fast. I haven’t had a good sleep in awhile and I need a hug. I’m off to bed to experience another night of tossing and turning until I get up and feel horrible.

I’ll get motivated and write something useful… one day soon..